Comics Wiki Adventures: Sir Wulf
Welcome to Comics Wiki Adventures, a weekly deep dive into just how unhinged comics can be. I will randomly select a character from comics and read their wiki each week.
I will then take only the choicest bits and serve them to you, over easy. What does that mean? I don’t know.
Anyway, today’s randomly generated marvel character is:
Sir Wulf! The Worst Werewolf in Comics
What a lucky pull!
Wulf’s almost on topic for today’s internet, since the High Evolutionary created him. That’s the same guy that created Rocket Raccoon. In the movies, anyway.
All the YouTubers that put red circles around things in their thumbnails think so, at least. So, will we get a cameo from Sir Wulf in the upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy 3? No! Nope. Not a chance. He sucks.
Wulf was originally a red wolf that was hyper-evolved to join the New Men. It’s a whole thing. To simplify, they are the X-Men crossed with Animorphs and led by a slightly nicer Dr. Moraeu. On a side note, another New Man the High Evolutionary created was Bova Ayrshire. She was a cow lady who raised Wanda and Pietro Maximoff and later told them Magneto was their dad. Which was later retconned. Then “unretconned”. Then they made it double-plus anti-happen.
I have no idea where they eventually landed on that, but I’m gonna call it; Magneto confirmed in the MCU. You heard it here first. What a scoop.
Sorry, This Was Supposed To Be About the Comic Misadventures of Sir Wulf.
Ahem. In the comics, the High Evolutionary needed a wolf man because “his knights needed the ferocity of a wolf on their side to survive future attacks.”
That’s super specific, right? It’s not even accurate. There are plenty of animals at least as ferocious as a wolf. If I were making a list of my top five most ferocious animals, which I am, they wouldn’t even make it.
The High Evolutionary just says that bit to make Wulf feel better when he’s down, and his morale is vital since the High Evolutionary made wolf-men before, but they kept rebelling. So naturally, he didn’t tell anyone Sir Wulf was a wolf.
He was Sir Anon for a bit and was covered in armor, so they were trying to be subtle about it. Still, it can’t have gone over well when they switched to calling him Sir Wulf.
High evolutionary: This is my new Manimal, Sir Wulf!
Any and everyone else: Why would you make more wolf-human hybrids!? They hate when you do that! He’ll kill us all!
High evolutionary: No, no, no. This is Sir WULF. Wuh, ulf.
Any and everyone else: …? We don’t get it.
High evolutionary: It’s spelled with a U.
Any and everyone else: Ah. Is he a wolf?
High evolutionary: …
Any and everyone else: …
High evolutionary: …yes.
So what happened to Sir Wulf?
Remember how he was in disguise so no one could even tell he was a wolf? Well, turns out allies who are in full-body disguises are handy for your enemies. He is almost immediately killed and replaced. By who, you ask? Why, the first wolf that betrayed the Fauna Friends and made them hate wolves in the first place!
So Sir Wulf does nothing, then dies off-screen. Oh, and he’s replaced by his friends’ worst enemy. What a guy!
He did have an ATOMIC STEED, though. You don’t get more comics than that. No way you are getting me on one of those. Unless it is just a steed made up of atoms. But then, that would just be a horse. Actually, I’m not getting on one of those, either.
After a bit of digging, I have learned it’s basically just a spaceship you ride like a horse. What a letdown.
Anyway, that’s the awful Sir Wulf! Check back next time when I’m sure we’ll get someone just as terrible, like Color Kid or Jubilee.
- Cape buffalo, aka the Death Buffalo. Easy pick.
- Wild boar. Mean and low to the ground. Can absorb radiation. Possibly teleport?
- Hippopotamus. If they can eat marbles, what chance do you have?
- Cassowary. Birds are evil. Big birds, doubly so.
- Nile Crocodile. The fact their name rhymes is just a cruel bonus.
Thanks for reading! If you liked this article you may also like my contribution to this article on 10/10 games. Or if for some inexplicable reason, you want to check out something I didn’t participate in, you can check out this article on Octopath Traveler II! No real connection, I just like that game!
Let me know in the comments below what you think is the worst character in comics, and what character I should randomly select next!
